Jokes

You've heard them all before. Back in the early days of email, before spam overwhelmed us, everyone sent everyone else every joke they heard. I saved them all, and here they are. They're old, they're dated, but they're good for a chuckle.

Favorites

Indian Joke
What if Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?
Serenity Prayer
Monkeys
Standards
Banana Republic
The Mexican Fisherman

Clean

At the Wedding
Peanuts
I.Q. Test
Mr. & Mrs. Potato
The Best Salesman
The Twins
Red Lights
Sven and Ole
Old Age
The Rabbit
Hunting Buddy
The Crock and the Bastard
A Good Dentist
Airborne Parrot
Finding The Cat's Diary
Lawyer Jokes
Dinner in Venice
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Final Exam
Noah's Ark - A Modern Tale
Phone Won't Stop Ringing? Here's What You Do
GM Intros Instant-Win Airbags
Burglar
If Airlines Sold Paint
The Baseball Game
Only In Merry Olde England
Time to Take Your Temperature

Not

Bad Pun
Another Bad Pun
Bike Ride
Cheerios!
Martian Invasion
The Tattoo
The Bull
Sex or chocolate
The Nudist Colony
The Dishes
My Kind of Woman
Scottish Farmer
Chores
The Mail Man's Last Day
Superman
Canadian Conversation
Compliment
Stranded
Birth Control
Is Daddy Home?
Police Chief
Sneaky
Fire Alarm
Lonely in the Desert
The Ski Trip
The Frog
The Piccolo Player
Real Good Bug Spray
Dwarfs Night On The Town
Dental Treatment
Neil Armstrong
Oh Shit
ho, ho, ho
At The Drugstore
Party Games
Turner Brown
Subathing
Kids
Woodpeckers
Tree Humor
Sunday Afternoon
A Cigarette Rainjacket
How Life should be!
The Watch
Sperm Bank Robbery
Just Off The Boat
African Roulette
Chinese Torture
Headache again?
The Ballerina
Ladder to Success
Scared Shitless
The Defective Parrot
Diary of a Viagra Housewife
Exterminator
Request
The Talk
An actual ad in the London Times
Language Barrier
Oral Surprise
Lesson
A Mortician
Big Thighs
Poetic Justice
Debts Paid
Theory vs. Practice
Life on the Farm
Secrets
Little Tim
Search for a New Samurai
Swimming
Quick Riddle
An Irish Letter
Rescue
Vaseline
Just A Bug
Good Ears
A Letter
The MasterCard Commercial
One Night Stand
How Was I?
Bedtime Surprise
Wedding Night Pranks
Washing Machine
The finale'

Not Funny

I Resign As An Adult
The Meaning of Life (Sunscreen)
Instructions for Life
The Duel
The Value of Time
How You Spend Your "Dash"
F Test
The Psych Test
How sharp are you?
Shmily (sad)

Technical

Internet Shutdown
Lovemaker v3.1 from EroSoft
Wife 1.0
GirlFriend 3.1
BoyFriend 1.0 and Husband 1.0
Virus Warning
WARNING: Good Times
Engineers
Engineers
Comprehending Engineers
The Engineer and the Progammer
Drug Dealers and Software Developers
Things Programmers Say
Tech Support
Tech Support Answers
User Support
Tech Courtesy
Battle lines at Tech Support
How To Install Software
If Operating Systems Were Beers
If Airlines were Operating Systems
Computer Errors
Sony's New Operating System (Haiku Error Messages)
New Web Browsers
Why Email is Like a Penis
internet mail list humor
You know you are addicted to the Internet
You know your an E-mail Junkie when...
Top Ten Lightbulb Jokes For the Computer World
The Top 50+ Geek T-Shirt Slogans
10 Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer
How To Read MIS Titles
Computer Acronyms
Broken Brakes
Ass Icons
Believe it or Not!
This is your cyberlife -- nothing in it works
Go COBOL
My Spell Checker
T'was The Nite Before Implementation
Mouse Balls
Vive la difference!
New Virus Alerts

Microsoft

Going down...
Microsoft House V2.0
Microsoft Tech Support
Microsoft Increases Advertising Revenue
Signs That Microsoft Owns Part of Apple
Dear Ann Landers
Acquisition
Microsoft vs. GM
Windows 2003 Error Messages
Microsoft Tests Nuclear Device
Headline: Bill Gates To Get Half

Dated

Future Falwell Targets
Winter Wonderland

Men and Women

The Benefits Of Older Chicks
M/F Quickies
What They Mean
Definitions by Gender
How to satisfy a woman every time
Men and Women. Are we really so different?
Men & Women Compared
Why Men & Women Don't Understand Each Other
The Last Ten Things They Ever Say
Differences
Perspectives
Paradox
What Every Man Expects In A Wife
How To Shower Like a Woman/Man
Two new elements in the Periodic Table
Women - A Chemical Analysis
The Penis Promotion
But Ossifer...
Funeral Procession
Newspaper Ad
The Message
What's The Secret?
Age has it's advantages
A Conversation with God
Adam
The loyal wife
The Perfect Couple
Carreer Change
Hallmark
Cindy

Marriage
Married
Married Life
Marriage in Heaven
Marriage Observations
Love, Lust, or Marriage?
Chinese Wedding Night
Wedding Night
The Honeymoon is Over
Reasons Why It's Best To Be Single

Men
Men Know
Men Explained
The 5 Questions
Because We Are Men
Why coffee is better than women
25 Facts Men Want Women to Know
Because I'm A Guy
More Women Jokes
Why It's Great To Be A Guy
Blowjob Etiquette
Male Life Priorities
Men's Rules For Dating
Multiple Choice For Men
If Men Ruled the World
Dear Abbey As A Man
The Hormone Hostage
Survival Rules For Men
Reasons For Men Not To Work
How To Tell If You Act Like A Woman
Reasons Sheep are Better Than Women
How to Speak about Women

For Women Only
For The Women Out There
Women on Men
Women's Fantasy
Dictionary for Women
Unconventional chain letter
What Women Should Know About Men
Good Boyfriends: Minimum Requirements
Training Courses For Men
Frog Prince
Men Jokes
How To Tell If a Woman Has PMS
Harsh Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man
Things Only Women Understand
T-shirts for Women who take no crap
50 reasons why it's great to be a girl

Idiots

Excuses
Forget the Dilbert Principle
True Stories of Induhviduals
Those Folks Down South
Yet Another Darwin Award Nominee
Darwin Awards
Actual signs seen across the USA
Storys from in-duh-viduals
True Story!
Statements to LandLords
Those Wacky Sailors
Rush Limbaugh
Clem and Zeke
Tyrell and Dan
Working at the Factory

A guy walks in to a bar...

What's in a name?
A Special Bar
The man who walked into a bar with a suit
Bar Jokes
Texan
Musical Octopus

Politics

Politicians
More Politicians
From the White House
Are You Repubican or a Democrat
Bill of No Rights
A message from Britain
Riddle
Clinton Jokes
You Might Be A Republican If...
20 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
The Kennebunkport Hillbilly
Bush Inaugural Address Song
Bushisms

Barbie

Barbie
Barbies We'd Like To See
More Barbies We'd Like To See
The Birthday Present
Ken And Barbie Write To Santa

Blondes

Quickies
Tracks
Jackpot
Caught With Their Top Down
Blonde Rage
Breaststroke
How Blonde is she?
Blonde Cop
A visit to the doctor
Blonde and the back seat
Blondes Get Revenge
Horseback Riding
Jigsaw Puzzle
Video Rental
Roadside Assistance
The Ventriloquist
Blonde Golf
Blonde Nymph
The Blonde and The Lawyer
Male Blonde

Drinking

The Buffalo Theory
Drinks for Tricks
The Five Stages of Drinking
A Beer Drinker's Troubleshooting Manual
Beer & Hormones
Signs That You Are Too Drunk
The 40 Things You'll Only Do When You're Drunk
The 10 Things You Think You Can Do When You're Drunk
DUI
Friday Drunk
Bar Drunk
Irish Drinking
Alcohol Consumption Warnings
Busted
Drinking Scam
Rednecks Drinking & Driving
The Drinkers Alphabet
The Boys Prayer

On the Job

How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace
Pranks That May or May Not Get You Fired
Your Job vs. Prison
Human Resources Memo
Useful Work Phrases
The New Office Terms
Language in the Office
Calling In Sick
The Plan
Corporate Zodiac
Differences between You & Your Boss
Sports survey
Staff Notice
Performance Review
Things to say when caught playing solitaire
Staff Development Seminars
Office Talk
Inspirational Verses for Work

School

School Teachers
Math Classes
New Community College Courses!
The Physics of Hell
Moral of the Story

Lists

Bumper Stickers
More Bumper Stickers
Still More Bumper Stickers
Riddles
Gallimaufry
The Facts of Life
Things to ponder.
Life's Tough
Restroom Humor
English Language
Who knew? Who cared?
Some Actual Signs
Words To Live By
English Words Pondered
Scary Quotes
Words You Won't Find In the Dictionary
Children's Book Titles
Ten things that Piss me-off
Things to Remember
Things that make you go hhmmm
What I've Learned
Life Imponderables
Sarcastic Remarks To Get You Through the Day
Something to Think about
Natural Laws
Strange Laws
Laws in other countries
Anagrams
Top 35 Oxymorons
Creative Answering Machine Messages
Something to offend everybody
You know you're from San Francisco when...
New Chinese Proverbs
Lessons of Life From Texas
Wisdom From Kids
Good Advice From Kids
Everybody Does It
Ways To Annoy The Police
Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate
Ways To Upset Jehovah Witnesses
Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid
Rodney Dangerfield One Liners
Bart Simpson
Country and Western Songs (Both types)
Country Song Titles
Signs You Might be a Yankee
Doggie Dictionary
Dog Laws
Some rejected state slogans
What's in a name (Cars)
What if condoms had corporate sponsors?
The "Bases" Explained
Coming Home for Dinner: 50's/90's
Signs That You've Had TOO MUCH Of The 90s
You know you lived in the Eighties if...
The Lost World - Top 10 List
Top 10 Summer Camps to Avoid
10 Signs That Navy Women Have It Rough
27 Rules To Jewish Living
Old and New Concerns for Baby Boomers
Metric Conversions
30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
Top 15 Slogans Rejected By Motel 6
Inspirational Posters We'd Like To See
Demotivators 2000
Taking A Leak In Public
Safe Sex Tips
Yo Mamma's SO Fat...
Newspaper Headlines
The Dating Dictionary
A Mom's Dictionary
Yo Mama So Stupid
Rules About Flying
Plane Defects and Repairs
Beatles tunes 2000
Smart Stock Market Investing
Ways To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped

Etc.

Dr. Benway's Rants
Doctor Howdy
Now that you are a father....
Menu options for the mental health clinic
Application for permission to date my daughter
Imperial Rhapsody!
Driving Test
When the world ends, how will the media report it??
Why the Future Will Not be Like Star Trek
If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
A Quiz
Bad Day?
Bad Day? (Part 2)
The Morning Song (for Non-Morning People)
A story from a guy named Cameron
Airplane Humor
Paying Attention?
How To Sing The Blues
Quiz
Who Reads What and Why

Holidays

Do You Believe In Ghosts?
Halloween Rules
Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex
Thanksgiving
things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving
Fruitcake Recipe
Happy Holidays
Downsizing Study: Santa Claus Inc.
Happy Holidays
Christmas Carols for the Insane
De Ebonics Crimmus Pome
Little known Christmas Fact
Christmas Gifts For Men
I saw you across a crowded room
Eat up it's Christmas
Fruitcake Recipe

Cultural Differences

Spanish Delicacy
Kiwis
Kiwi Joke
Kiwi Joke
Ebonics
Ebonics
Ghetto Resume
Cultural Differences Explained
Hebronics
Irish Women's Lib
Irish Jokes
Irishman
Talking Tennessee
Southern Slang
Arkansas Jokes
Redneck Valentine Poem
Redneck Engineering Exam
Martha Stewart's Tips for Rednecks
You Know You're Trailer Trash When...
Things You WON'T Hear a Southerner Say
Southern Drawl
North vs. South

Church

The Confessional
The Priesthood
Actual Announcements from Church Bulletins
Profits of Horse Racing
The Wall
Heaven Or Hell
If Jesus Were Alive Today...
Catholic Mothers
The Priest and the Nun
Miracle
A Little Religion
Nervous Priest
God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire
The Arms of Another
In The Book
Nuns
Sick at Church
Fish
Monks
Nuns in Transylvania
God
Moses Revised
Touching Sermon
The Drunk and The Priest
Holy Bagel

Doctors

Doctor's Office
Doctor Joke
Hospital Charts
How's Your Health Plan?
Sex Change
Old folks
The Knob
Headache Cure
Signs you have joined a Cheap HMO
Two Doctors
Surgeons

Golf

Well! What do you know?
Golf Memories
Golf Tournament
Herbie Plays Golf
The Honeymoon and Golfing
Betting on Golf
Golf Talk
10 Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex
The Affair
A Matching Set
Golf Joke
Golf


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