Several new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking
havoc though out the national system. Beware of:
THE CLINTON VIRUS
Gives you a 6 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory
THE BOB DOLE VIRUS
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
THE LEWINSKY VIRUS
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails
everyone about what it did
THE MIKE TYSON VIRUS
Quits after two bytes
THE OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly
expands to stabilize around 200mb
THE JACK KAVORKIAN VIRUS
Deletes all old files
THE ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
Disks can no longer be inserted
THE PROZAC VIRUS
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS
Only attacks minor files
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back
AND THE FAVORITE . . .
THE LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then
discards it through Windows
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