* YOUR ASS IS NEVER A FACTOR IN A JOB INTERVIEW.
* YOUR ORGASMS ARE REAL. ALWAYS.
* YOUR LAST NAME STAYS PUT.
* THE GARAGE IS ALL YOURS.
* NOBODY SECRETLY WONDERS IF YOU SWALLOW.
* WEDDING PLANS TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.
* YOU DON'T HAVE TO CURL UP NEXT TO A HAIRY ASS EVERY NIGHT.
* CHOCOLATE IS JUST ANOTHER SNACK.
* YOU CAN WEAR A WHITE SHIRT TO A WATER PARK.
* FOREPLAY IS OPTIONAL.
* YOU NEVER FEEL COMPELLED TO STOP A FRIEND FROM GETTING LAID.
* CAR MECHANICS TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
* YOU DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS IF SOMEONE NOTICES YOUR NEW HAIRCUT.
* THE WORLD IS YOUR URINAL.
* HOT WAX NEVER COMES NEAR YOUR PUBIC AREA.
* YOU NEVER HAVE TO DRIVE TO ANOTHER GAS STATION BECAUSE THIS ONE'S JUST TOO
ICKY.
* SAME WORK.....MORE PAY.
* WRINKLES ADD CHARACTER.
* YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM TO MAKE EMERGENCY CROTCH ADJUSTMENTS.
* WEDDING DRESS $2000; TUX $100
* IF YOU RETAIN WATER, IT'S IN A CANTEEN.
* PEOPLE NEVER GLANCE AT YOUR CHEST WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO THEM.
* PRINCESS DI'S DEATH WAS JUST ANOTHER OBITUARY.
* THE OCCASIONAL WELL-RENDERED BELCH IS PRACTICALLY EXPECTED.
* NEW SHOES DON'T CUT, BLISTER, OR MANGLE YOUR FEET.
* PORN MOVIES ARE DESIGNED WITH YOU IN MIND.
* NOT LIKING A PERSON DOES NOT PRECLUDE HAVING GREAT SEX WITH THEM.
* YOUR PALS CAN BE TRUSTED NEVER TO TRAP YOU WITH.
* ONE MOOD, ALL THE TIME.
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