My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their
own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of
their game was to write the word "shmily" in a surprise place for the
other to find.
They took turns leaving "shmily" around the house, and as soon as one of
them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more.
They dragged "shmily" with their fingers through the sugar and flour
containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared
it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio where my grandma
always fed us warm, homemade pudding with blue food coloring. "Shmily"
was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where
it would reappear bath after bath. At one point, my grandmother even
unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave "shmily" on the very
last sheet.
There was no end to the places "shmily" would pop up. Little notes with
"shmily" scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or
taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left
under pillows. "Shmily" was written in the dust upon the mantel and
traced in the ashes of the fireplace. This mysterious word was as much
a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture.
It took me a long time before I was able to fully appreciate my
grandparents' game. Skepticism has kept me from believing in true
love - one that is pure and enduring. However, I never doubted my
grandparents' relationship. They had love down pat. It was more than
their flirtatious little games; it was a way of life. Their relationship
was based on a devotion and passionate affection which not everyone is
lucky enough to experience.
Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance they could. They stole
kisses as they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. They
finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle
and word jumble. My grandma whispered to me about how cute my grandpa
was, how handsome and old he had grown to be. She claimed that she
really knew "how to pick 'em." Before every meal they bowed their
heads and gave thanks, marveling at their blessings: a wonderful
family, good fortune, and each other.
But there was a dark cloud in my grandparents' life: my grandmother had
breast cancer. The disease had first appeared ten years earlier. As
always, Grandpa was with her every step of the way. He comforted her
in their yellow room, painted that way so that she could always be
surrounded by sunshine, even when she was too sick to go outside. Now
the cancer was again attacking her body. With the help of a cane and
my grandfather's steady hand, they went to church every morning. But
my grandmother grew steadily weaker until, finally, she could not leave
the house anymore. For a while, Grandpa would go to church alone,
praying to God to watch over his wife.
Then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened. Grandma was gone.
"Shmily."
It was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's
funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned and the last mourners turned
to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members came
forward and gathered around Grandma one last time. Grandpa stepped
up to my grandmother's casket and, taking a shaky breath, he began
to sing to her. Through his tears and grief, the song came, a deep
and throaty lullaby. Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget
that moment. For I knew that, although couldn't begin to fathom the
depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched
beauty.
S-h-m-i-l-y: See How Much I Love You.
Pass this on to some of your friends and tell them how much you love
them, for there may not be another day that you will talk to them.
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