Hebronics

The NYC School Board has officially declared Jewish English a second
language. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation 
to recognize Hebronics as the language of many American Jews. Look for 
other cities to follow suit, notably Miami Beach, Los Angeles and Scarsdale.
In Hebronics, questions are always answered with questions:

Question: "How do you feel?"
Hebronics response: "How should I feel?"

The subject is often placed at the end of a sentence after a pronoun has
been used at the beginning: "She dances beautifully, that girl." The
sarcastic repetition of words by adding "sh" to the front is used for
emphasis: mountains becomes "shmountains"; turtle becomes shmurtle."
(mountains-shmountains / turtle-shmurtle)

These common phrases were translated from "Standard English" to Hebonics:

 English: "Sorry, I don't know the time."
 Hebronics: "What do I look like, a clock?"

 English: "I hope things turn out okay."
 Hebronics: "You should BE so lucky!"

 English: "I see you're wearing one of the ties I gave you."
 Hebronics: "What's the matter, the other tie you didn't like?

 English: "That's a very pretty girl."
 Hebronics: "She could stand to gain a few pounds."

 English: "May I take your plate, sir?"
 Hebronics: "You've hardly touched your food. What's the matter, 
             something's wrong with it?"

 English: "It's been so long since you've called."
 Hebronics: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead yet?"

 English: "Let's go riding."
 Hebronics: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?"

 English: "It's a nice day."
 Hebronics: "At least it's not raining."

 English: "Happy birthday."
 Hebronics: "You should only become a year smarter."

 English: "I feel good."
 Hebronics: "Things could be a lot worse."

 English: "Happy New Year!"
 Hebronics: "Another year, God willing!"

Top |  Back | Home