A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small
house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a
long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the
night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you
so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three
worst Chinese tortures known to man".
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well,
and entered the house. Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She
was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted
to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a
night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man
wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large
rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy, he thought. "If that's the best the old man
can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up,
walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he
noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to
left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was
already getting close to taut.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he jumped out
of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted towards the ground he saw
a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle
tied to bed post."
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