FLORIDA:The Gunshine State
ALABAMA:Literacy Ain't Everything
ARKANSAS:At Least We're not Oklahoma
ILLINOIS:Gateway to Iowa
KENTUCKY:Tobacco is a Vegetable
MAINE:For Sale
MONTANA:Land of the Big Sky, and Very Little Else
NEW JERSEY:You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney ...
NEW MEXICO:Lizards Make Excellent Pets
NORTH CAROLINA:Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
OHIO:Don't Judge us by Cleveland
PENNSYLVANIA:Cook with Coal
SOUTH DAKOTA:Closer than North Dakota
TENNESSEE:The Educashun State
TEXAS:Si Hablo Ingles
UTAH:Our Jesus is Better than Your Jesus
CALIFORNIA:The Granola State -or- Nobody's actually from here.
KANSAS:Hayfever capital of the Midwest.
COLORADO:Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here.
NEBRASKA:More corn than Kansas.
MISSOURI:Gateway to Kansas.
LOUISIANA:Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will never hurt you.
NEVADA:More Weirdos than Alaska (Warmer Too).
MICHIGAN:Land of the free, home of the Buick.
ARIZONA:Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds.
FLORIDA:Elephant Graveyard; where old Republicans go to die.
MINNESOTA:Not Sweden, but we try to act like it.
WISCONSIN:Land of funny accents.
IDAHO:Nothing here.
OREGON:As pretty as California but not as weird.
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