The Crock and the Bastard




One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, and he 
had everything; money, a big house in Beverly Hills, drugs, girls, cars, 
planes; anything he wanted. The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had 
filled his pool with crocodiles. So there he was, him and his friends all 
standing around drinking, getting high and partying next to the pool. 
The guy gets up on the life gard tower and all his friends look up. He calls 
for silence and says "OK, the first person the swims across my pool will get 
all my money." 
No one moves. The guy looks over the crowd, draws on his joint and says "OK, 
the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money and my house." 
Still no one moves. "OK then, the first person the swims across my pool gets 
all my money, my house and all my cars and planes." 
Still, no one moves, not even a eye blinks this time. "OK then, all my money, 
my house, all my cars, all my planes, all the dope you can handle, all my 
property, all my stocks and bonds and investments and all the girls you can 
handle; everything I own." 
"Splash!" Someone's in the pool. Crocodiles are all over him, but he rolls 
over like Tarzan, he's all over the place, fighting and dodging.  Finally he 
gets out of the pool on the other side. The rich guy on tower jumps down and 
runs over to him. 
"That was incredible! I never thought that I would ever see that done. 
Do you want the money now or later?"
"I don't want the money."
"Do you want the house now or later?"
"I don't want the house."
"Do you want the cars and planes now or later>" "I don't want the cars or the 
planes."
"Do you want the bonds, stocks and stuff now or later?"
"I don't want that either."
"Do you want the drugs now or later?"
"I don't want the drugs."
"Do you want the girls now or later?"
"I don't want the girls." 
The rich guy looks at him and says "Well what the hell do you want?!?!" 
"I want the bastard that pushed me in."






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